The grass is always greener on the other side… I feel like I’ve been living out that expression this past week. As excited as I am about being here, I’ve also been terribly homesick. I miss my friends, my family, good coffee, anything and everything familiar. I left a perfectly happy life to come here… and I began to wonder why. It’s not that I wasn’t happy here, but new beginnings are always rough. You have to reach out, make new friendships, and adapt to a different culture. It’s definitely not easy. Yesterday I was really struggling… crying yet again over everything I left behind. God reminded me of my purpose for being here. We’re doing orientation lectures this week with the DTS… laying a foundation for the weeks to come… running through the basics. Yesterday a wonderfully wise lady at the base, Miss Pattie, came up and shared on the ‘cost of discipleship.’ She talked about leaving everything behind to follow Christ. When Jesus approached the disciples in the Bible, they instantly dropped everything to follow Him. They left their careers, families, everything they’d ever known behind at the drop of a hat… to follow Jesus. That’s a pretty crazy leap of faith. This wasn’t the first time I’d heard this stuff… but this time it applied to my life in a whole new level. To be a follower of Christ, I really do have to leave EVERYTHING behind. I always thought that was pretty extreme… and that I’d never have to do it myself, but being here, I’ve realized I can’t live in both worlds. I must choose one or the other. Living on facebook and constantly skyping home won’t improve my life here… it’ll just make me miss home and be miserable here. Choosing one or the other just simplifies things. It’s not that I won’t be in touch with people at home, but I can’t run to that for comfort… as an escape. I also realized I can’t look at this period of time in Australia as a ‘2 year shift…’ this is my new life. I can’t just count down until I leave then go back to Eugene and live how I was before. Eugene is no longer my home. I’m moving on… whether I’ll live there again or not is not even something I have to consider now. Right now, I have to settle into my new home.
As scary and tough as this new life is right now, I’m confident that God has brought me here for a reason. I’ve already been stretched so much… my going outside my comfort zone, I have to cling to God for comfort. Nothing else compares.
God’s really blown me away with new revelations over the past few weeks. I love it. I can’t wait to see what comes next :)
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